Smo'dis's Nubhosh Muun
(As told by Smo'dis the gruntee)
Diz muun ztarded lyk anee uddur muun. Humie clompin agh shardee leedin. Me had tu leed lotz ub shardeez, bud lotz ub uddur runteez wur clompin dem. Dumhed runteez.

Den humies kaym agh me shuuded dem wid ligz. Dem mayd a swirlee purpul tingy agh id kebt clopin orcz. Me tryd tu shuut at id su id wud kum aftur me agh me kud run away intu da wuudz agh ged id away frum da furt. Den ash ub da gruntz yelld at me fur shuudin id. Him blah'd nub tu shuut swirlee tingiez dat uddur orcz wur leedin. Ebun doh da uddur orcz wur duin muur geddin clompd den leedin, me nub arguud. Den ash humie wuz clompd agh da uddur run'd awa.

Den muur shardeez showd ub. Shardeez seem tu lyk me, bekuz dem ulwayz kum runnin obur tu me. Me wuz surt ub sleebi becuz ub uddur tingz agh wak'd ub juzd in tym tu ged yelld ad agin.

Den muur humiez kaym. Me see'd dem agh me pull'd out mi fab'rit olig. Me run'd ub da stebs agh shuut'd ad da humiez, ebun doh a shardee lurd wuz triin tu clomp me. Den da panzee humie run'd awa, agh gess huu shuw'd ub wen da lurd wuz hit'n me? Me wuz yelld ad agin!

Me wuz feelin sumwut nubhosh rite den, bud da humiez kaym bak. Me wuz clompd gakh tymz shuutin dem wen dem yuz'd mojo on me. Den me run'd tu krimp ash outzyd, agh him mayd ash mojohuul negzd tu da bak duur. Him run'd away, agh me heded bak in. . . bud sum dumhed wuz blokin da duur! Me kud nub stob meselb agh me fell intu da mojohuul, agh wuz clompd by humie gardz.

Me wuz feelin BERI nubhosh ad dis tym, agh me wend back thru da mojohuul agh ztartd yellin agh skreemin. Den me tayk'd sum shardee tingz agh sed dat me wuz guin intu da wuuds zo me nub had tu see aniash elze fur a liddul bid. Da grunt dat yelld ad me gab me leg armur agh me lefd da furt.

Me wandurd FAR intu da wuudz until me kud almuzt nub find da wai bak tu da furt, bud me am bubhosh wid direkshunz. Me dezided dat me neebd ash olig agh sum ligz, so me cutt'd sum wuud.

Me finded ash puindy-eerz trull agh shuuded ad im, bud run'd owd ub ligz. Me nub had ragz eedur, so me run'd awa, bud den ash big burd agh ash big spidur see'd me agh clompd me, den luutd mi armur.

Me find'd ash burnt heelur agh tuuk tingiez bak, den kept guin. Me see'd lotz ub wuuliez agh collektud lotz ub wuul. Den me mayd cloff.

Me see'd ash big-bellee agh me hittd him wif lusk agh ligz! CLOMP!!! Den me see'd ash uddur big burd agh shuutd id wif ligz! CLOMP!!! Den me teef'd futh ragz frum ash heelur, agh me had ragz! (Me had HHHHHH boldz ub cloff tuu, bud nub had cuddurz.) Me had HHHHHH fuudz tuu! Den me see'd ash uddur big bellee agh hittd agh shuutd id!

CLOMP!!!

Now me had gakh hundurd agh HHHHHHgakh shineez. Den me dezided tu gu bak tu da furt wen a burnt humie shuwd ub. Him attakd me! Me pulld owt mi olig agh trid tu shuut im! Clomp. . .

. . . gah.

Him luut'd ALL Smo'z cloff AGH fuud AGH ligz AGH shineez! Dat wuz NUBHOSH!!! Bud id kud hab ben wurz. Him kud hab driluutd me, me gess. Agh left me clompd.

Me wuz feelin beri nubhosh agin agh nub wantd tu du aniting elze. So me curld ub in mi fab'rit kornur agh wen sleebi.

Mebbe negzd muun wil be beddur. Me hop zo.