How to Combat Clumsiness, Orc Style!

*CLOMP!*

Smo'dis found himself in the all-too-familiar chamber of the Wargod, with his most embarrassing story yet. He had seen a Headless, swung at it and completely missed. Then, while the Headless ran away for fear of death, Smo charged after it, tripped, and fell face-first onto his own lusk. Ouch.

"SMO'DIS, GED UB!"

That was when Smo realized he was still lying on the ground. He tried to get up, bumped his arm on his knee, and fell again. After a couple more tries, he was standing again.

"ME HAB BUBHOSH NUUZ FUR LAT, SMO'DIS!"

"Hoowah bubhosh nuuz!" Smo'dis shouted.

"ME HAB FUND ASH KYUR FUR LATZ KLUMZINEZZ! ID AM KALD TASH."

"The Wargod handed him a bottle of oddly-colored liquid. "LAT DWINKEE DIS AGH LAT WIL NUB BE AZ KLUMZI ANIMUUR! BUD. . . "

"HOOWAH!!!" Smo'dis shouted as he grabbed the bottle of Tash and sucked it dry.

"GAH!!! DUMHED!!! ME WUZ NUB FINIZHD BLAHIN BOWD ID!!!"

"Surri," Smo mumbled as he burped. "Wud wuz lat blahin?"

"ID AM BUBHOSH MEDIZUN," the Wargod shouted, "BUD ID HAB SYD EFFEKTZ!!!"

"W. . . wud kynd. . . ub. . . " Smo'dis stammered, before he fell asleep in the middle of the Wargod's vast chamber.

"LYK DAT," the Wargod mumbled. He pointed at Smo'dis's sleeping form and sent him back to the land of the living with the final words, "LAT AM NUB GUIN BE SU KLUMZI, BUD LAT GUIN BE BERRRRRI SLEEBI!"

But the sleeping Smo'dis heard none of it.